This time of year it seems that everyone’s talking about money. It’s that thing we love and sometimes even hate. Perhaps it’s because of the stronghold it has on our lives. For many, money is a measure of our success or a symbol of power or an indicator of our security. Have you ever given much thought to what your relationship to money is? Regardless of what your feelings are, money, and taxes, are facts of life that all Americans are faced with this time of year. And that has many of us singing the blues!
At the very least, the filing of taxes, particularly if you itemize deductions, requires a financial life review of what you spent money on in the last year. If you will let it be, it’s interesting to take a look at this. The things you buy are a clear indicator of what you think is valuable.
As a psychologist, I tend to pay more attention to what people do rather than what the say. For many, there is a discrepancy between what they say they care about and what they’ve purchased. So what stories do your itemized deductions tell about your financial behavior? Are you actions congruent with your words?
Paying taxes calls out the question loudly, do you ‘vote with your feet?’
At this time of year, all of us have to face a cold hard financial truth about what we’ve been up to money-wise the previous year. This puts most of people on edge. Whether it’s the drudgery of filling out the paperwork, the fear of making an error and being audited, or having to pay a large tax bill, most people fear the dreaded ‘T’ word.
Tax season brings up all kinds of issues about money. Have any of you known someone who has plenty of money, more than enough to last a life time, yet he or she slavishly continue to save “til it hurts?” We’ve all known someone who lives like a pauper even though he or she had millions. That person is so attached to money, that every time he or she spends a penny, it causes severe anxiety within them.
There can be many reasons for this, but whatever that reason is, it’s -- you guessed it -- related to their experiences growing up! In some cases, a whole generation was affected due to events on the world stage, such as the so-called “Great” Depression. Many who grew up in that era were deeply affected by the worldwide epidemic of scarcity that brought and have passed it on to their children. Those who grew up with depression-era parents or grandparents were instilled with the fear that financially hard times could be just around the corner, so you’d better save for a rainy day!
There can be many reasons for this, but whatever that reason is, it’s -- you guessed it -- related to their experiences growing up! In some cases, a whole generation was affected due to events on the world stage, such as the so-called “Great” Depression. Many who grew up in that era were deeply affected by the worldwide epidemic of scarcity that brought and have passed it on to their children. Those who grew up with depression-era parents or grandparents were instilled with the fear that financially hard times could be just around the corner, so you’d better save for a rainy day!
Generally speaking, we all know that it’s important and smart to save money and plan financially for the future. Some people take that to the extreme. Each year they hoard more and more money, stopping healthy flow by taking it out of circulation, which is its primary function. They keep it hidden under the mattress or accruing year after year in an institution, until it becomes more of a fetish. If this is you, then you may want to be brave and ask yourself, what does my money mean to me? Does it represent love, success, security, your social status, or perhaps the power you have in the world? Why are you so compelled to squirrel it away?
On the other hand, there are those who spend their money frivolously. It’s easy to do! For them, tax season represents a failure to save, a lack of awareness about the future or an inability to face financial realities. Tax season is a reminder that they may lack the ability to make the large purchases, such as a car or a house. It’s the age-old battle between the need for instant gratification and delayed satisfaction.
Throughout the year someone in this category can hide from himself by indulging ourselves in a dozen small ways. Maybe that’s why so many people go out every morning and stand in line for Starbucks coffee. With Starbucks, when you heed the call of the Siren, you have a feeling of belonging to a very, large and very hip group. You might not own a mansion (or even a house), and you might not drive a luxury car, but you can sit in Starbucks every day, sip your vente carmel machiatto, and feel like a million bucks!
No matter which end of the spending spectrum you land on, tax time gives an opportunity, however unwanted or unsolicited it may seem, to glean a realistic glimpse of what we thought was important in the last year. So consider it an opportunity for self-exploration and self-knowledge. It may make you nervous at first, but taking an honest look at your spending can take you from singing the financial blues, to humming a happier (and emotionally healthier) tune!